Here we go! Are you following along?
I am guessing many bloggers start with this, BUT I have always said I would never start a blog. It was something I was so convinced I would never do. But I love surprising myself, so here we are. I have always thought that I don’t have anything interesting to say, I don’t have the time or energy to sit down and write, and even if I did have the time and energy to write, I’m not a very good writer.
All of the excuses not to start a blog made so much sense! And then I quit my job (or lost my job? I’ll share more about this later on). I had a baby. We sold our house. We moved across the country. We bought our house. We travelled all summer. And then September came and I realized I was looking straight at this new entrepreneur adventure in the face, with no Plan B.
Plan B. I don’t even know what Plan B would be. Starting my own business, from scratch, as I raise our little one, is my perfect dream. I have always been a hustler at work, giving more than 100% every single day to my job. When I would think about having a baby, it felt obvious that I would continue working and our baby would go to child care. Mostly because we couldn’t afford for me not to work, and also because I loved my job! Gosh I love looking back at big life changes and shaking my head. Why do we ever think we know what is going to happen? The world is filled with way too many unknowns for us to really know what’s ahead.
Becoming a mom. Game changer. It has filled me with more love and more worry than I thought possible. Let’s talk about love for a second. This is a new kind of love, filled to the BRIM, nope not brim because that means there’s a limit, filled beyond infinity. I can’t pretend to have words to describe it so let’s move onto worry. I’m a worrier. I didn’t know this about myself until March 30, 2018, when worry filled every ounce of my being. It’s different than anxiety, it’s worry. I wonder if I’ll ever not feel worried, but that’s unlikely, so I’m not going to spend energy thinking about that.
I hope you disregard that whole last paragraph. I hope I can become more articulate at unpacking motherhood here.
This blog is meant to be a space for me to grow. I plan to share my vision for Square Top Creative, thoughts and learnings and take aways I have from being a mom, and I plan to share stories. Maybe I’ll even share what it’s like to live with a dog that looks like a llama and acts like a squirrel.